Jake today, via IM:
“yes i would like to have sex with you more BUT am still not ready to get involved in any sort of relationship and I think to have sex with you, no matter how much i enjoy it, is not a very nice thing to do to you.”
Later, therapy with Susan:
Susan: You have to remember that you’re in process right now, and that the kind of person you want to be with right now probably isn’t indicative of the kind of person you’ll want want to be with in a few months.
Me: I just wanted … I mean, all I wanted was for Jake to, like, go live in an alternate dimension for like a few months or however long it took for me to get over William and become a whole person again and then he could come back to this dimension and, like, be my boyfriend.
Susan: Well even if that was possible he would have to be a whole person by then too.
Me: Maybe … like … scientists could do that to him while he’s in the alternate dimension?
Susan: (waits patiently for me to say something vaguely rational, which I think is a trick they teach you in therapist school)
Me: The other thing is that he did stuff for me that no one has ever done before. Like, emotional stuff but also physical stuff. And that is a BUMMER. I mean, there was this thing he did to my nipples … I’m sorry, is this TMI?
Susan: You’re paying me to talk to me so that’s not really a relevant concept here.
Me: Well. Anyway. IT IS A BUMMER. Will I ever meet another guy who will be able to do that stuff?
Susan: When you’re ready, you will meet that guy.
Me: I will? Um, how do you know? Are you psychic?
Susan: I’m not psychic. I’m just … confident.
Me: Huh. Well, I guess I will choose to believe that. I mean, why not, right?
(Stares at crumpled tissues in lap)
Is the hour up?
Susan: You have another six minutes.
Me: I think I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.