Kind Of A Lot Of Info To Give A Stranger

So now we have R.E.C. on E.D.G. and vice versa. I promise there will be a recipe in the next post! But I just moved into a new apartment, uh, one and a half weeks ago and I’ve yet to unpack my dishes. And R.E.C. is now a couchsurfing Californian, and probably not in a position to cook much either.

1. What word or couple of words or phrase comes to mind when you think of me?
Do you remember that part in Lolita where HH talks about thinking of a loved one, closing your eyes, and seeing their features imprinted in your mind in perfect detail like a photograph? It’s a very lyrical and poetic passage and of course extremely sexualized and skeevy, but minus those overly pervy/artyfarty aspects, that’s how I think of you. It’s not like a list of qualities or words, it’s just like, E.D.G., you know? And my mental picture of you is always smiling, for some reason. But I see what this is getting at, so:
honest to a perilous degree, neurotic, intelligent, perceptive

2. If you had to describe me to a friend of yours who had never met me, what would you say?
Probably something like, “She’s really funny and smart, she works for [mystery workplace], and has some awesome tattoos.”

3. What was your first impression of me? How has your opinion of me evolved over the years?

I came in to shadow Z for a day at [our former shared workplace] before I started for real the following week, and all of us went out for lunch — you, me, Z, Nicole, Laura Lee. We ate in the park and I remember you picking and picking at your food and then barely eating half of it. You had a lot of nervous energy and I definitely noticed that. I remember thinking at different moments that you were both very nice (you complimented my hair, oddly) and kind of in-your-face honest and competitive, like, you asked me right away what kinds of books I wanted to work on, and if I wanted to write or not, in this way that made it clear you were defending your turf. After that you went on sort of a monologue about your career so far — how you felt about everything, and I remember thinking that it was kind of a lot of info to give to a stranger.

Even though you were a bit prickly, I did pretty much like you right away. I think I sensed that we had a lot in common.

Re: Evolving opinions, ha! Obviously you are divulge-y and in-your-face honest and those two qualities inform a lot of what I like about you. You are competitive too but I don’t really think of that much now, probs because we are now friends in a way we weren’t on that park bench and we don’t work together anymore. So that’s probably not in the top 5 Things about E or even 10 really. I think you are a really good person but I no longer think the word “nice” accurately describes your goodness. . . I think nice has a superficial element that you are sort of fundamentally unable to sustain.
I think working at [that place! Where E works!] has made you more judgmental and impatient (sorry!)and New York-y but it’s also made me realize the sort of terrifying extent of your intelligence and talent. Obviously I have always admired your smarts but now I REALLY admire them.

5. When they write my obituary, what would you predict I’ll end up being known for?

writing, sophistication, being a heartbreaker
6. Why do you think people don’t like me immediately? What is it about me that rubs people the wrong way, and ultimately, what is it that ends up winning them over (cough cough, hopefully)?

I think you can come off as overly self-involved but you generally win people over with the funny. That and your good heart. Now do me!

Okay!
1. What word or couple of words or phrase comes to mind when you think of me?

Serious, industrious, sad, brilliant, maddeningly insecure for no good reason, self-sacrificing, Good, writer, empathetic, endlessly patient and giving, much hotter than you realize

2. If you had to describe me to a friend of yours who had never met me, what would you say?

I’m so happy you’re going to meet my friend R. She’s my best friend in the world and I have no idea what I did to deserve her. You’ll like her (and then they always do, people always like you)

3. What was your first impression of me? How has your opinion of me evolved over the years?
I told you this earlier, but you were acting so fake on the day we met. I was really determined to find out what was under the super-buttoned-up facade. You were determined to be so professional at that lunch, and my agendas were twofold: establishing myself as, like, the chief Heather of the office (gross! and not how I thought of it/myself at the time, but just sadly true) and trying to let you know what you were in for, vis a vis the job you had just taken! I wanted to see if I could get you to be real so that I’d feel more comfortable being like “Dude, your new boss is a psycho cunt,” basically. I’m sure I said that anyway.

Uh, I keep saying I, and this is supposed to be about you. Anyway, I thought you were a boring blah gradgrind who didn’t care about anything besides Making It In Publishing. And now I think you’re one of the smartest, funniest, most perceptive people alive. So, you know, I was wrong.

5. When they write my obituary, what would you predict I’ll end up being known for?
Something you’ve written.
6. Why do you think people don’t like me immediately? What is it about me that rubs people the wrong way, and ultimately, what is it that ends up winning them over (cough cough, hopefully)?

People do like you immediately, so this isn’t relevant. I think what ends up really sealing the deal, though, is that you maybe look like you couldn’t be capable of thinking/saying some incredibly hardcore nasty searingly honest shit and of course you can. Because you have such all-American clean-scrubbed Midwestern good looks, even when you say “fuck” it’s kind of inherently funny and shocking. This I find endlessly endearing.